Another day in paradise…or not

I havent been in the ‘resigned’ category over 2 times in the length of my career. Now being the 3rd time (lucky?) I have to say…it comes with mixed feelings. You feel sad because you will miss your colleagues and friendships formed with people you’ve been seeing literally every weekday of being employed. Bonds that grew out of the hard work, some late nights, some weekends, some happy hours and long lunches that you’ve had – and bonds made with your bosses (yes, even!)…

Going to work now feels different because you know you’ve got a timeline, a deadline, a time to go. You kinda start living your work days, savouring the last few weeks of daily work routines – from that familiar parking spot (you only get if you get in before 830am) or the 10am (and 3pm) coffees you grab from the dispenser. The familiar faces of the parking attendants, the monthly parking payments, the usual adrenalin rush when you are about to present a deliverable to your big boss…and the fact that you can tell from your bosses aura what the current mood of the moment is – the little frown (or scowl), the small corridor talks, the smile, the lift conversations (and grumpy morning greetings mumbled when everyone’s squeezing in to get to the 10th floor).

I cannot imagine what it must be like to be living a terminally ill life, knowing that you only have several months or weeks to live. How does someone resign themselves to that? A very sad story I heard today from Sherri – she was about to head off for after work drinks, and a phone call came in. A friend of hers which was diagnosed with Spinal Cancer in November last year was unconscious and Doctors weren’t sure how long she had to live. Just a call like that changes your whole outlook on life, doesnt it? One moment you’re headed out the door to Bangsar for drinks, the next moment you know you might never see your friend alive and whole again. She was told her friend hardly looked herself anymore because of all the morphine she had been administered. So sad.

A very sad post today, but grief is all around us – along with stories of joy, happiness and success. There is so much beauty in life, but also so much ugliness. I was rather frustrated and annoyed that I just found out my car is leaking black oil. I had to make plans to be carless and get my car to the workshop, thinking that someone would have to pick me, the mozzie bites I always get while waiting for my car. Now, I see now there is really no room for petty stuff. Lets all just be thankful of what we have, the lives we lead and the small parts of life that makes us smile and laugh. Wholeheartedly.

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