Lim Yu Vern – My heart aches

What is a sister’s grief? What is a Brother, Mother and Father’s grief?

No words on this earth can describe the excruciating pain of losing someone in your family – much less the youngest, most pure, innocent, beautiful member of the family, the baby of the family whom we all protect, cherish, and love so very much in each of our own little ways. You walk around on autopilot and the sharp pain turns into a permanent dull ache in your heart. The terrible longing of wanting to speak to him, to hug him, to kiss his cheek and until he gets annoyed, tease him and lie down on the bed next to the table where is he hogging the computer, or hearing him jam away on his electric guitar.

When you are afraid to be alone because your eyes start tearing again and the familiar lump in your throat returns and your heart aches.

When you are afraid to go into the shower because you’d be alone with your thoughts and your thoughts all revolve around the strain to remember every little incident about your lost brother, every moment spent with him before he left you, which seemed insignificant before.

When you stare for ages at his photos, unable to believe you will never be able to speak to him again, see him in all his wholeness, warmness and hear his ‘lame’ jokes.

When the songs he used to jam on his electric guitar repeatedly in the mornings once annoyed you, would now be music to your ears, and you have his songs now playing on repeat.

When you sit down alone quietly and wish and pray he is next to you, listening and hearing all you have to say to him now that he’s gone.


5 thoughts on “Lim Yu Vern – My heart aches

  1. i’ve been a silent reader for a while now. my condolences to you and your family for your loss. no words are comforting enough. all i can say is to take care.

  2. Dear Sue Ann

    So sorry to hear about the passing of your brother.
    My deepest condolence to you and your family.

    May he rest in peace.

    Michelle NG

  3. Hello, I am very sorry for your loss. This story touched me deeply. Just know that even 12,000 miles away someone cares and notices and will remember.

    With all my love and condolences,

  4. hey dear,

    Kind of stumbled across this. Cried just reading your post cause it made me realise just how much is going on under the strong and seemingly ‘normal’ front you guys put up. No words suffice, but maybe this will help….

    John 14:1-4
    Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.

    Nahum 1:7
    The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,

    Continue to put your hope in the Lord and one day you’ll see him again. And oh what a joyful day that will be!

    Take care dear. I’ve been blessed to know you.


    • Hi Ee Ling, it was a blessing to know you as well. Thanks for your kind note – a person deals with their sadness and sorrow in many ways….
      Im glad we as a family are going down the path of redemption!!!

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