Am I in Phase 2 yet?

Jeen and I just got back from having dinner – banana leaf rice – at Nirvana in Bangsar. Not particularly memorable food, but I guess generally I’m in a phase where food and living are just something everyone has to do. Wish I can turn back to the times in my previous blog posts where I sing praises about a Repetto Ballerina shoe or something.

When the waiter was placing the food on our banana leaves, Jeen says “I hope Vern is getting to eat food like this”

I say “Oh ya, I told him just now to join us for dinner”.

Jeen, confused, says “Vern?”

“Yes. Vern.”

“Vern?” Jeen asks again.

“Ya, Vern.” I said.

Some of Mum and Dad’s friends are here visiting us, and Mum just started playing the Picture Slide Show of Vern prepared by Pastor Clement. I don’t know why, but it’s getting harder and harder day by day to view his slide show, to view his videos and look at his pictures without the fear of ‘backsliding’ into my earlier grief. I guess I’m moving onto Phase 2 of grief whereby it is just suffocating just looking at his pictures whereas earlier we stared at your pictures every day. Just hearing the song accompanying the slide show makes my heart ache again.

Oh Vern, Vern, Vern…where are you…?????

Another couple of Mummy and Dee’s friends just arrived. Mummy is playing your video for the 3rd time, and they are both explaining every slide. You must be blushing now, or giving us your slanted eyes look, followed by sticking out your lower lip. Miss u Vern.


One thought on “Am I in Phase 2 yet?

  1. hey dear,

    I know how you feel. I lost someone dear as well…its been almost 4yrs now, it doesnt get easier. Honestly, i cry almost every once a while looking at him..

    The only thing i can share, occupy yourself with all the happy thoughts Vern has shared with you. Share it with the family, his friends and your friends.

    typing this made me cried again..we both just love them too much. In due time, GOD will allow us to spend time with them again. I believe Vern must truly enjoy the Banana Leaf dinner 🙂

    I would 2!
    Catch up when i return back to KL dear.
    take care!

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