The heart feels

Happy Merdeka, people. It is indeed a very beautiful morning – calm, dewy, joyous.

Now back to my real post for today.

Over the past months, if and when i pick up a newspaper (usually the Star), I flip through the obituary section. It is very rare indeed that I do pick up a newspaper actually (I get my news feed off google news) but anyway, one memorial note published grabbed my attention that day and some tears threatened to fall.

I would like to share this with everyone. It is a memorial written by a mother to her 18 year old son who passed away in 2002. It reminds me how – everyday – someone loses someone dear, precious and close and the pain will never fully recede.

The Star Page N53 Thursday 27 August 2009 – “Memorials/Obituaries”

“Love you always”

When you were five, you looked into the starlit night sky and asked “Amma, where is heaven, does Ultraman live there?” and I told you “No one knows exactly, but most people think its in the sky, boy.” You shook your head and said “No! No! heaven is very far away, near London”

You looked me right in the eye with more hope than I could stand, waiting for my approval, correction of wisdom. In this matter, my ignorance was so large, that I grew dumb in the face of your innocence. You where too young to attach to a particular ideology. I couldn’t show you heaven on a map or explain the course a soul might travel on that day. But right now, Amma knows you would have found heaven, Sweetheart.

Met Joe and Ricky (not their real names) your University Mates, at your place of rest. Truly glad, that you have such great and sincere friends, boy. Though you are far away, you are guiding your brothers, James and Peter, through Dr. Brian, our godson, who walks with them along life’s path. We really appreciate, for bringing Simon to us, like I said earlier, he is a gem of a boy.

The calendar says you left 7 years ago but to Amma, you are always here, in my heart. Never has a day gone by, without me, calling out your name Son, and its really painful, not to hear or see you, but sweet memories of 18 years remain, to keep me alive.

My dear child, always remember that we miss you and love you loads. – xoxo

Love, hugs and kisses.

Amma, Appa, Aunties …and all your cousins.

The heart strings were pulled this way and that while I was on the way to work that day, reading the paper. I am not a mother yet but I can feel and completely understand this woman’s pain and grief. I think about my baby brother Vern every day, and since he is in heaven, I’ve been asking God to let him know we all on earth miss him and love him very much. When will the tears stop falling? When will the heart heal?

Take a deep breathe right now, whoever is reading this. Provided you dont have a blocked nose, enjoy the air that flows through your nostrils and into your lungs and close your eyes, savouring every moment of that breath. Then Thank God for being able to do that, and Thank God that your living loved ones are also doing that.

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