The partial pattern

I dont know exactly what my title above has got to do with what I am about to ramble on about. This post has something to do with an obituary I read today in the star, where it was posted that a man who had just passed away left behind Wives: XXX and XXX. Of course, this could all very well be innocent and one of the wives may have been deceased or divorced. But it did bring some thought to my mind. Not that my mind is not crowded enough already.

I was just thinking about the things some men get themselves into. Men of these predicaments tend to be between the ages of 40 and 60. I doubt men above 60 are bothered enough to do it, but I wouldn’t discount the fact entirely.

Imagine for a while you were a man between that age and you had amassed good fortune over the years. You have 1 wife and 3 children whom you see on Monday to Thursday and then you go to live with your 2nd wife on say Friday to Saturday (prime days, mind you).

You may or may not have had children with your 2nd wife and you support both families financially. Now if that were it, maybe it wouldn’t be so stressful. But there is no running away from emotional rife that I am sure you would have to put up with – from both families! I suppose after some years, everyone in that situation would have gotten used to it and there might be some respite, but that feeling of disloyalty and some degree of embarrassment hangs over your head til your dying day, doesn’t it?

It is unfathomable though for me to know that my husband and father of our children goes off 3 days of the week to see his other family. Of course the pinch would be harder knowing that the other ‘wife’ is younger, more virile, attractive than you. But! The pinch would probably be much much harder knowing that the other ‘wife’ is terribly less attractive than you…

So the eternal question – why does it happen?

Maybe because people change?

But really, you end one relationship (or let it continue running parallel) and move on to the next – you start all over again. You get rid of ‘old’ problems but then quite quickly new ones take their place.

There has been so many writers who talk about Love and Marriage. Marriage is difficult because there are 2 different individuals in it. But dont you think in many ways, marriage is good BECAUSE there are two parties in it?

Alot of woman start out stressing vehemently “I WILL NEVER SHARE MY HUSBAND” but in the end fall into a depressive, acceptive state when the unthinkable happens. And yes, sh*t does happen.

To all you women out there in this state (of whom I hope and pray are not one of my blog readers) – stay strong. Pray and seek God and everything else will fall into place.


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