Danger – Shut UP Sue!

Blogging is sometimes a dangerous thing.

You feel the shittieous urge to blog sometimes on impulse when your hormones and emotions are raging and blurt out everything you have on your chest (5 mins later you wished you didnt post it and now its too late). Right now I miss Vernie alot. I feel like shouting out that LIFE IS REALLY SHITTY SOMETIMES….! But I wont, I’ll have to back pedal, pull my self back and clasp my hands together with a fervent prayer to God (in tongues, even better).

Thanks my dear readers for keeping my polls up even when I didnt have much of a mood to blog this past week.

As you can see, the general mood is downcast and out. Its one of those weeks. I havent dreamt about my brother Vern since my last fast a month ago. I didn’t ask God to let me dream about Vern again like I did at my last fast, and that God did allow me to dream about Vern – I’d like to save it for my next fast so I’ll know what to expect this time.

Life seems quieter without Vern’s ruckus – its been 6 months since Vern went. The varied phonecalls to my Mum and Dad asking hows the brat? is no more. It would have been an exciting time for him…finishing his SATs and going to college, meeting new people, facing new challenges which is in every way part of our life development phases. (Although I’m very sure he is getting the chance to do all these in Heaven and more, for sure).

I’m still busy planing for our big day in Jan – is that really next month already? OMG. It seems I have 1001 things to do til then, but I really want to enjoy the process.

We are off to food tasting tonight for our wedding reception in KL. God has been good, the rain’s somewhat fizzled out, birds are still chirping outside. Maybe God is reminding me there is still life out there, even though sometimes I feel life is not worth living and is tiresome and a half. Utter blasphemy I know. God forgive me please….Its downcast Sue at one of her worst.

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