To share

Someone stumbled upon my blog recently and put in a long comment in one of my older posts which I am sharing here. This is one of the main hopes I have for my blog, hoping that people can share their feelings and thoughts about lost loved ones, motivating me to keep on blogging!


While drifting among some of the older posts on my own blog, one of the “Possibly related posts” at the bottom took me to this entry. I read this post, read the previous one, watched the movie it linked to, and immediately, my cheeks were soaked in tears.

This past September, I lost one of the closest friends I’ve ever had, my senior year University roommate. We had been apart for only a few short months after I had gone back home to Canada following graduating, but we planned to meet again for some South-East Asian adventures this year (I had taken a teaching job in Singapore, where I’m currently at). At least that was our plan–fate had different plan when he fell in a Mountaineering accident on 23 September, 2009.

Though Eliot is gone, he lives on in all those he touched; it sounds like Vern is doing the same in yourself and all those he knew. I feel you understand my thoughts when I say, “I don’t know ‘why’ I’m saying this…” When I read your entries, touching on the deep love and sense of loss for your brother, it woke up those same feelings I’ve had, but have been hiding as of late deep down inside. The grieving process ebbs and flows, and this was just a part of the cycle. Your words let me have a good cry, one of those cries that lets a little bit of the hurt go. But this cry wasn’t just for Eliot–this was also for Vern, and for you.

If this brings back hurt and pain, I’m sorry, but I wanted to let you know that your beautiful, passionate words struck a chord, as if they touched my soul. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. Sure, I lost a dear friend, but I can’t imagine what I would feel if I lost my own brother. But, I wanted you to know that your thoughts have just helped me move a little bit further forward with my own grieving. My deepest sympathies to you and your family, but also the sincerest of thanks for warming my heart with the love you’ve spoken of.


Thanks Will for your comment and yes it does give some level of comfort that grief is a very widespread feeling among many people (although everyone deals with it differently). I do worry that sometimes it lurks at the bottom on our thoughts and in our minds and hearts and will one day surface with a mighty roar and pop there you go into depression. It takes some effort to constantly steer yourself or block out the memories and sorrowful thoughts each time you think of your lost loved one. Tears still well up in my eyes when I look at Vern’s picture and Pandora’s box is opened each time I go into Vern’s picture file on my laptop (which is not frequent nowadays). But each time the sorrow comes back I turn to God and everything is better again – do you have God in your lives?


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